Let the cliches begin, “I can’t believe how fast it’s gone by.” “Where did the time go?” ” Seems like just yesterday she was a baby.” And on and on. But, dang it, they are all so true. And next year (or the year after, we haven’t decided yet) I know I’ll be saying these all over again when she starts Kindergarten.
I really can’t believe how fast it has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was holding this tiny, little dark eyed girl who I was so in love with from the minute they placed her in my arms. She taught me about what it meant to be a Mom and how you could love someone so much from the second you met them. I had images of my Mom holding me as an infant and just like that, I.Got.It.
Where the heck did the time go? I mean if she’s almost four that means I am (gulp) four years older than when I had her, putting me almost over the big 3-0. Plus, I honestly don’t feel that much older. Yes, I have found my first few gray hairs (I blame our second child for those) and am shopping more and more for the anti-aging lotions but I don’t want to admit I look older yet. Is this how it will always be?
And, it really does seem like just yesterday she was a baby. I can remember so clearly our days at home when she was and infant and I was on maternity leave; we’d sit on the couch and she’d sleep in my arms as I read or enjoyed the guilty pleasures I had recorded on my DVR. I can remember finding out I was pregnant again when she was only 10 months old and totally and completely freaking out and then feeling guilty that she’d have to share our attention with a sibling. I remember her coming to meet her little sister and being so overwhelmed with love and fear that I didn’t know what to do. And then there was just yesterday; shopping and lunch, just N. and me, I sat and looked across the table at her and realized how big she has gotten and how ready she is for this next step and I couldn’t have been more proud. If I do anything right in my life it will be to raise two girls who are ready to take on this big world and do it with grace, confidence and respect.
So here we are: August 13, 2012 and she is starting preschool. Probably because we’ve watched Finding Nemo one to many times but as she raced down the hallway yelling, “First day of school! First day of School! First day of School!” I felt like Marlin, Nemo’s overprotective Dad, and wanted to hold onto her a little big longer. After breakfast and plenty of pictures inside and outside in her special new first day of school outfit we were headed to school.
As we got to her little yellow school she walked to the door with such confidence, that I hope never leaves her, and opened it up without any hesitation. Since we had already found her cubby she took off her backpack (loaded with only a single folder – it was more an accessory than anything) and put it inside. Before I knew it she had already disappeared off to the dress-up/play kitchen section and she was fully engaged while I chatted with her teacher and got ready to make my departure. After a big hug and kiss I was on my way out the door, as I was walking out her teacher said, “Good job, Mom. She’s ready; you did your job.”
Tears. Smiles. Happy. Proud.
So my dear N., I am so proud of you today and so excited for your new school adventure. I hope you are always this excited for school and that you will always have the same curiosity. Keep asking the many, many questions about what things are and how they work, be a friend and helpful to others, and leave things just a little better than the way you found them. You will move mountains!